Dear Mother Wit,

I have three kids. My youngest is two, and he loves to play on my phone. That’s okay to a point, but when I need my phone, he doesn’t want to give it up. When I take it, he starts screaming and won’t stop. He can go for hours! Once he threw my phone to the floor and cracked the screen. What am I doing wrong?

Is There an App for This?

Dear Is There an App for This?

I get so many questions just like yours! Even the littlest kids today are screen-savvy—they seem to be born that way. We all form habits with our devices. When little kids grow up with a phone or tablet in their hands, they learn that this is normal. They can’t yet understand that you have adult responsibilities to take care of on your phone. They think it’s a toy—their toy—and don’t know how delicate (and expensive!) it is. I know how tempting it is to give your son the phone to keep him quiet or occupied when you’re busy. 

Now is the time to change YOUR habits! Find some toys that engage and challenge him and wean him off of your phone and other digital devices. Not only is he too young for a sophisticated device, he needs to learn other ways to play and entertain himself. Exercise your patience muscles—toddlers are most likely to be resistant when they have extra energy to burn. Try to engage him in physical activities. Have your older kids help out by reading to him from books (old-school, right?) and playing with him using tools to develop his tactile abilities.

If you’re not already controlling screen time for all of your children, get them together and set some boundaries that they can all follow. Encourage and reward them when they do better. Building responsible digital device and screen use into your family culture will benefit all of you, I promise!