Dear Mother Wit:

I’m a single dad working from home during COVID. My 9-year-old son is having a hard time with virtual learning. His school is using a hybrid model that alternates at-home and in-classroom time, and he’s struggling with the back-and-forth. He’s normally a pretty good student, but he’s not doing well right now. He used to be a hard worker and I hate to see his grades going down. I’m not into spanking him, but I’m desperate for tips on how to help him. 

Frustrated Father

Dear Frustrated Father:

Children need consistency—the more, the better—in any situation. COVID is taking that away from us and nobody knows what “normal” is anymore. The “back-and-forth” of this hybrid schooling makes things even worse for students, parents, and teachers. It’s like nobody can win!

Since your son is normally a good student, I’d like you to try an experiment. Ask him to share what’s working for him and what isn’t. Which does he enjoy more: virtual learning or the classroom? How does he feel about his teacher(s)?  Once you learn more about what he’s experiencing, maybe you can work with his teacher(s) to help your son keep up. They’re probably struggling too!

So many students of all ages are struggling with these changes. Please listen carefully to him and let him know that you’re in this together, that you’re on his side, and that you will help him through this. Let him know that you don’t have all the answers, but that you can look for the answers together. And that you’re not expecting him to be the kind of student that he was before the pandemic. 

Reassure him that he’s as smart and talented as ever. Find ways to apply his lessons and interests to household chores, cooking, maybe games or crafts that you can enjoy together. Children are natural learners, and formal schooling isn’t the only way to keep them engaged and growing. And share that it’s okay to struggle, and sometimes you’re struggling to. Let him know how proud you are of him no matter how he’s performing in school. Share stories about things that you struggled with as a boy, and lessons you learned from those experiences. Reaffirm your faith in him, and your unconditional love. 

Your son looks up to you more than you realize. I know you’ll come through this together. 

Warmly,

Mother Wit